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[Jan. 19th, 2011|11:55 am] |
So I'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be
All these faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems so far away
Until I'm taken by these bolts of pain
But I turn them off and tuck them away
'till these rainy days that make them stay
And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And I dont think they'll ever go away
Just like thinking of your childhood home
But we cant go back we're on our own
Oh,
But i'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself
So were speeding towards that time of year
To the day that marks that you're not here
And i think I'll want to be alone
So please understand if I dont answer the phone
I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
Until I can see nothing at all
Only particles some fast some slow
All my eyes can see is all I know
Ohh..
But I'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2011|03:13 pm] |
My friends can't understand this new me,
That's understandable man, but just think how bananas you'd be,
You'd be an animal too, if you were trapped in this fame and caged in it like a zoo.
And everybody's lookin' at you, what you want me to do,
I'm startin' to live like a recluse and the truth is,
Fame startin' to give me an excuse, to be at a all time low.
I sit alone in my home theatre, watchin' the same damn DVD,
Of the first tour, the last tour, he was still alive.
And it hurt sore, fast forward, sleepin' pills'll make me feel alright.
And if I'm still awake in the middle of the night,
I just take a couple more, yeah you're motherfuckin' right,
I ain't slowin' down for no one, I am almost homeward bound.
Almost in a coma, yeah homie come on, dole 'em out
Daddy, don't you die on me, daddy, better hold your ground.
Fuck, don't I know the sound of that voice,
Yeah baby hold me down. |
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| http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2011/01/01/manual-for-conserving-paths/ |
[Jan. 7th, 2011|12:38 pm] |
1] The path begins with a crossroads. There you can stop and think what direction to follow. But don’t spend too much time thinking or you’ll never leave the spot. Reflect a lot on the choices that lie ahead, but once you have taken the first step, forget the crossroads for ever or else you will always torture yourself with the useless question: “did I take the right path?”
2] The path doesn’t last for ever. It is a blessing to travel the path for some time, but one day it will come to an end, so always be prepared to take leave of it at any moment. However enraptured you may be at certain landscapes, or scared whenever you have to make a great effort to go ahead, don’t get too used to anything. Neither to the hours of euphoria, nor to the endless days when everything seems so difficult and progress is so slow. Don’t forget that sooner or later an angel will appear and your journey will reach an end.
3] Honor your path. It was your choice, your decision, and just as you respect the ground you step on, that ground will respect your feet. Always do what is best to conserve and keep your path and it will do the same for you.
4] Be well equipped. Carry a small rake, a spade, a penknife. Understand that penknives are no use for dry leaves, and rakes are useless for herbs that are deep-rooted. Know also what tool to use at each moment. And take care of them, because they are your best allies.
5] The path goes forward and backward. At times you have to go back because something was lost, or else a message to be delivered was forgotten in your pocket. A well tended path enables you to go back without any great problems.
6] Take care of the path before you take care of what is around you. Attention and concentration are fundamental. Don’t be distracted by the dry leaves at the edges or by the way that others are looking after their paths. Use your energy to tend and conserve the ground that accepts your steps.
7] Be patient. Sometimes the same tasks have to be repeated, like tearing up weeds or closing holes that appear after unexpected rain. Don’t let that annoy you – that is part of the journey. Even though you are tired, even though certain tasks are repeated so often, be patient.
8] Paths cross. People can tell what the weather is like. Listen to advice, and make your own decisions. You alone are responsible for the path that was entrusted to you.
9] Nature follows its own rules. In this way, you have to be prepared for sudden changes in the fall, slippery ice in winter, the temptations of flowers in spring, thirst and showers in the summer. Make the most of each of these seasons, and don’t complain about their characteristics.
10] Make your path a mirror of yourself. By no means let yourself be influenced by the way that others care for their paths. You have your soul to listen to, and the birds to tell what your soul is saying. Let your stories be beautiful and pleasant to everything around you. Above all, let the stories that your soul tells during the journey be echoed at each and every second of the path.
11] Love your path. Without this, nothing makes any sense. |
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| i don't keep up with these, but i wanted to do this one because it's special to me. |
[Sep. 15th, 2010|05:32 pm] |
Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail
Jenny Edna Arney
Jen is 23 years old (today is her birthday). She was born September 15th, 1987.
We met when we were both 15 years old. She might have been 16. We met on livejournal through other friends. We were livejournal friends for quite a long time before we actually 'met'. One night I walked in to a party at David Clontz's house. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Jen was completely wasted. We were running around like tards. I remember losing her and finding her in the bathroom, throwing up. I took care of her the whole night while her other best friend at the time was hitting on other boys. She was throwing up and saying, "We are going to be best friends." After that day, we hung out. We ended up hanging out every single day from the time I was 15 until the day that I moved away. For years, we hung out together everyday, after school, on the weekends. We would drive around to find drugs or booze, and just get fucked up together..with no one else around. We would randomly mess around with boys, breaking hearts like it was nobodies buisness. We became instantly known as the best friends, sisters, and "coolest" girls around. Everyone wanted to hang out with us, quote all of our ridiculous sayings, get us fucked up, and date us. I say that trying not to be a snob, but it was true at the time now that I can look back on it. We would hang out in my room for days at a time without leaving. We were truely inseperable. She was perfect in my eyes in every way possible. We were in "friend love". I had never had a "real" best friend until I met her. We finished each others sentences. Made up the best jokes. Cried together. Held each other when we cried over stupid boys. Slapped girls together. Danced like no one was watching. Life was perfect. The memories I have with her will remain with me for the rest of my life as the best times I've ever had. When I was 16, she hooked me up with her best male friend. It was the first time I had truely fallen in love with a boy. It was a heartbreaking relationship. Every time I cried, she was there. She's never not been there, still to this day. When that relationship went sour. We found something special. We began to date best friends. Ohhh, these were amazing times in our lives. Finding two dudes, and I say dudes because they were complete bros..how could that ever possibly happen?! The four of us hung out every single day for a long time. We did everything together. We got into trouble together, went camping, went on a mini vacation, crashed parties, trashed houses, fucked around. We were the raining trouble making champions of daytona beach. Eventually, the time came for both of us to move on in our lives. She got into Florida State University and I was moving to Mississippi with Jeremy. She came to visit me in Biloxi a few times and we reaked havoc in New Orleans. We celebrated Mardi Gras together and had the time of our lives. After that, we sort of moved on with our lives..but never left each other. Always kept in touch, always. Saw each other when we could, talked all the time still. I had my daughter, her God Daughter, in 2008. I moved back home. She met the love of her life. Got married. And is now having a beautiful little boy. She's due Oct 31st of this year. My little God Son is coming soon. We will always be best friends, sisters, family. She's the most amazing girl I've ever met and I am so lucky to have her as a best friend still to this day and forever on. We always said we would raise our childred together and we still are going to. Jenny Edna Arney, my Best Friend. Happy Birthday, best friend.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2010|01:20 pm] |
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I love my sober life. |
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modestmichelle's journal
